It feels like forever since I’ve blogged and shared what has been on my mind. Life’s struggles force us to hide what we feel and be guarded with what we say. Blogging, although it is so public and out there, is the greatest way to share one’s feelings and decompress.
Over the last year and a half, I’ve definitely had my fair share of trials and tribulations. It has strongly affected me that I lost my dad, my hero, and one of my best friends. The plans that we had and the memories that we shared are just so difficult to let go of.
Going through everything and truly thinking out loud I seriously question, where’s home? For as long as I could remember, home was always my hometown of Lansing, Michigan. My city of birth, city where all my siblings were practically born, but also the city where we laid our parents to rest.
Now I know the home is where the heart is and all that crap, but when you sit down and truly ask yourself; where is home? Is home either of the following:
- Where you work?
- Where you live?
- Where your family resides?
- Where your parents last visited before they perished?
I guess for me now, I feel homeless in a sense. The city where you once had parents living, is now a city where they’re both simply buried and have nice tombstones to visit and leave gifts and flowers on. Inside that city also lies the childhood home that I could visit when coming back into town, yet it’s no longer home and just a distant memory.
Going back to my original question to myself, what is home? Home is slowly evolving into something so much different than before. As I see it now, home is now any place where I can:
- Share a laugh
- It is not a physical location
- Not a house
- A state of mind
- Being calm and free
In conclusion, home will never be what it was before. I’ve come to accept that and will learn to evolve and accept the good with the bad and be a better person for having done so.